FROM ME ... TO YOU

Diary Of a College Nerd 1.0

2012-01-29T14:32:00.001-05:00

This is a rant... Just so you know!

So, I was at the library the other day and some random brown guy came to sit behind me with some girl. I think he was trying to get with her if not... ha! Anyway this guy just kept going on about his academic achievements and how he's the smartest person in the whole school. He got 98% on his last math midterm and his friends got 40%! This idiot girl was clearly enjoying the talk because she started offering up her own achievements too! Keep in mind that we were in the library this whole time! I was so annoyed because the guy was clearly spinning "flows" for the babe and she was seriously buying it... smh! People that smart usually don't brag like that and they're a lot more articulate. The guy just sounded dense to me! I kept clearing my throat so they'd know to shut up. Don't get me wrong I don't mind a little noise once in a while but if you're going to disturb the peace, what you're saying has to be worth it! C'mon! I'll need him to show me the 98% before I believe it!

That same day, after listening to that ridiculous exchange, I was in desperate need of coffee. Walked up to the stand and these two people were blocking me. I was about to say excuse me when I realized they were making out. As in full blown take me right here right now session!! It was honestly shocking. The coffee place is almost in the middle of the library and they were just going at it like two dogs in heat! Mind boggling I tell you!! Of all the places on campus, the middle of the library? How was I supposed to get past them to grab my cup? #Jambquestion. I hope they found a room to get it in at least lol!

I need to know something real quick. Am I the only one that can't stand people who interrupt lectures?? I don't mid when the person is asking a reasonable question that will benefit the entire class. But when you keep asking random stuff and interrupting the prof when she's trying her best to answer you stupid questions, it takes all my will power not to yell STFU! In class the other day the prof pointed out some irregularities between the original text and the copy we had in our text book. It happens after many years of re printing and editing etc. This guy would not just let this issue rest. Went as far as challenging the authors of our text book and saying they were incompetent and had no business writing text books! Even the prof had this "really? wtf?" look on her face. It was epic! What's worse? I was nursing a little crush before that day... and then he opened his moth and it all went away!

*SIGH*
I hope everyone had a good weekend! Happy Last Sunday in January!
XO

We all need someone...

2012-01-28T21:55:00.001-05:00

To My friend T.J,

I'm so mad we didn't meet earlier than now and you're graduating in a few months but I'm thankful all the same. You've been a friend, sister, companion and tutor when I needed all of that. Although we've not had the chance to fight, I'm sure we'd have a go at it too.

I'm glad I met you and hope we stay in touch even after we leave here!

XOXO
Me

My picks for the season

2012-01-20T09:47:00.001-05:00

As you all know, I am a certified Tv Show junkie!! Yes it is an addiction lol. Recently though, I made a conscious effort to cut back because it was interfering with my study and party time. At first I thought I'd stop completely but that was impossible... after a week, I gave up.

So, I decided to pick only a few and save the rest for the end of the semester.
Here they are

Revenge :

This is such a good show, I couldn't help myself. It revolves around the main character, Emily/Amanda seeking revenge for the unjust imprisonment and death of her father by the Greyson family. It's exciting, thrilling and exhiliarating at the same time. Just when you think you've figured out what happens next, another curve ball gets thrown your way. Which brings me to the next show...

Homeland:

Epic is an understatement of how amazing this show is. I really love it. I was pleasantly surprised by how good an actor Claire Danes is!! If you're into espionage or terrorist/CIA themed shows, then this is the best thing for you since Covert Affairs. My Jaw drops after every episode; that's how good it is!!

These are my favorite new shows out now and even though I'm cutting back, I'm still a happy camper lol.

Other shows worthy of note are:

The Secret Circle - This gets better with every episode. I thought it was a cheesy witchy teenager show at first but I love it.

Happy Endings - Everyone needs a little laughter in their lives and this show does it for me. Damon Wayans jr is just so hot!!

Suits - The best Law show out right now. I'd give anything to be like Harvey. Trust me, once you watch this show, you'll start thinking of switching career paths.

White Collar- It's almost like Suits but with so much more charisma for Matt Bomer. I love it!

Game of throne - This show is awesome too. The perfect dose of action, fantasy, drama, romance and comedy all in one show. It would have been at the top of my list but the season is done so it doesn't really count. However, I beg you to watch it. Your life will not be the same I guarantee you as you'll now know the awesomeness that is Peter Dinklage!

American Horror Story - This is, simple put, a mind f**k!! After every episode you're like WTF Just happened!! I promise you'll go nuts trying to figure that out and that's what makes it so good!

Let me know if there are any other shows I can try... when I'm on break that is lol.
Have an amazing weekend!

Distance makes the heart grow fonder?

2012-01-16T10:31:00.001-05:00

"You write what you can't say." Thar's what someone told me a few days ago I don't think it's completely true but it's up to you guys to decide. I like to think I can say whatever I want but I do it better on paper (Almost same thing I know)

Anyway, I was tempted to go all emo on you guys today but I thought the better of it cuz well, I'm trying to prove a point lol! But then I still felt like I had to give you guys a little something to keep you going.

So a 'friend' of mine came over yesterday. I put friend in quote because we haven't really been much of that to each other for a long time. I think we've spoken thrice or so in the space of two years!! I didn't believe it either so we checked facebook. Lo and behold, our messages were three years apart. lol. One message per year since 2010 if you can believe that!

The funny thing is, when we got to talking, it was as if no time had passed between us. We could still laugh and joke about things without it being forced or fake. Catching up wasn't that hard either. I didn't even think twice about the stuff I said getting back to me and so did my friend. I really was happy that he came over. We had so much fun hanging out and watching the globes together...

When the night was done and I was left alone with my thoughts(which is always a bad idea), I kept thinking back. What exactly happened to make us speak only once a year? How did I manage to let that happen? I suck at keeping in touch and all but still, what happened? I don't have that many friends so when I found someone like him, why didn't I try to make it work?

I didn't think too much to get my answer and no I'm not going to say all that here... just cuz he'll probably be reading this and we can't have his head exploding now. lol!

Point I'm making is, you don't want to wake up 5years from now and realize you let one of the best things that happened to you walk by or you gave up too quickly on a really awesome friendship. I was lucky that my friend and I could pick up where we left off but it could easily have been the reverse.

"Opportunities slip by in a second but regrets take a life time to get over"

Have a great week guys... XO

Don't waste time chasing cars

2012-01-09T08:57:00.000-05:00

"Truth is, to experience God as Jehovah Shammah(the Lord who is ever present), you must experience Him as Jehova Ropheka,(the Lord who is the Healer of the past).The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable u are of living in the present"

Have you ever tried chasing a waterfall - literally? Well, I have and it's as pointless as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It's impossible.

Over the past year, I've been through much more than any kid my age should have to deal with. Got majorly sick, had to quit school temporarily. Lost my grandpa. Found out my other grandpa has Alzheimer's and isn't doing too well. Realized that most of the people around me were merely leeches which meant in my most trying times, I had no one to turn to. I felt so lost that something as simple as praying was a chore "after all, if God was there, he wouldn't have ever let me get in this mess"! I was in this giant stink hole and it seemed like every time I tried to wriggle my way out, I sunk deeper...

I couldn't even talk to my friends. Anytime I tried to broach the subject, I'd back out because I knew they would never understand. I had to constantly filter my emotions to be there for them meanwhile the whole time, I was the one who needed them. I don't blame them for all that happened it just sucked that I had no one to turn to when all I needed was a listening ear and a bear hug. Which made me resent them (temporarily) for that too

But redemption came from a very unlikely source. He damn near beat the sense into me! Even though I refused to listen to what he had to say at the time, he said it anyway and damned all the consequences (Hell, that's what real friends should do). He made me realize holding on to all this baggage and grudges was only weighing me down. The people I was so angry at were going on with their lives but I was here stuck in the rut resenting them. I didn't listen then because no one really wants to hear the truth no matter how much they say otherwise and I was no different.

I used to be so spiritually in sync with God but this whole year, I think I went to church less than 10 times!! I watched a couple of T.d Jakes' and Joel Osteen sermons online but I don't think that counts. Either way, I was lost. It took the realization that I had 'wasted' a full year of my life being this way to get me back up. I was so tired of putting on fake smiles and fake conversations so people wouldn't know how bad I was feeling. I was sick of lying to people about my health and well being. Most importantly, I was sick of hurting my mother. That woman tried so hard to help me get better but all I did was hurt her deeper. I needed to shed all the baggage and that's exactly what I did.

One random morning (I can't even remember the day to show you how near spontaneous it was) I just decided to talk to myself. I talked for a LONG time. Confronted all my ghosts and demons like they were right in front of me. Decided It was time to let go of all the hate and negativity. I cried, screamed, and cried some more. I cussed them all out one by one and said everything I never got the chance to say. After what seemed like hours, I took a deep breath and shouted "Finally Free!!!"

... and I'm the better for it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL...

*Update: To all my friends reading this, please don't read too much into my comments. It's just how I felt and really didn't have much to do with you. <3 *

QOTD

2011-12-11T16:34:00.001-05:00

"In my opinion this whole world's going to shit, and shit rolls downhill, so I might as well just jump in, hold my breath, and pray to G-d that there's a nice big soft puddle of diarrhea for me to land in once everything hits the fan." - Kevin Cambell [Tattoo Artist]

HELLO: Yum Fest!!

2011-11-16T20:49:00.001-05:00

I had this beautiful sight for dinner today (Grilled Salmon with Baked Potatoes and Salad). It was so good, I couldn't help but do a post on it.

I've been trying to eat healthy these days and so far, it's been great. Who knew Lettuce(Romain) tasted so good??

And don't get me started on the salmon... It was delicious. Although it's quite expensive, it's well worth it.

How To: Grilled Salmon
Ingredients:

Two Portions of farmed Salmon
Spices (pepper, salt, curry, thyme, fish seasoning)
Tea spoon of Olive oil

Steps:
Wash the fish properly before spicing it up. Feel free to experiment with the spices albeit salt and pepper are the essential ingredients. Meanwhile, apply the teaspoon of oil to a sheet of foil paper that will be placed on the baking pan/ grill. This is to avoid any sticking. Put in in the oven and pre heat.

Once you're certain the fish is done, place it in the oven and let it sit for 5-8 minutes. Flip it to the other side and wait for another 5-8 minutes (this depends on the temp of your oven).

In about 15minutes, your salmon should be ready.

Enjoy the rest of your week folks...
XO

Quote of the day

2011-11-15T01:24:00.001-05:00

May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you...

-Drake

Undeniable Uncertainty...

2011-11-14T00:29:00.001-05:00

I sometimes have a hard time being a Christian... around my friends that is. There I said it!!

It's not that I don't believe in God or Christ, I do (more than you can ever know) but I find that in order not to seem overly 'goody 2 shoesish', my spiritual life takes a back seat in my everyday life.

A couple of weeks ago, I got home home from church and met my room mate making lunch. The following conversation ensues;

C: Hey, where have you been?? Tried calling you, needed to know if you were going to have lunch with us but your phone was switched off.

Me: Oh! Sorry about that, I was at church, just got back.

C: Ya ya ya. So you go to Church? Like every sunday?

Me: errm (brief pause) yes, I try to. Do you?

C: Not really, just when I'm with my grandma, it's important to her. So are you like a Christian?

Me: Errr ( long ass pause) Yeah I guess I am, my parents are so ya...

C: Oh okay .... (random conversation continues)

I honestly don't know why I said that, was I trying to seem cool or what? Yes 'C' my room mate is Canadian so maybe that had a part in it but still, it's been bugging me for a while. The problem here is that, it doesn't stop at being shy or awkward about your religion but it spans out across all other aspects of our lives. I think this is where mediocrity stems from. But that's an entirely different conversation.

Why is it so difficult to be bold and proud of who you are? Is it for fear of rejection or just low self worth?

While writing this post, I realize my problem isn't just about my spiritual life but everything in general. I don't know how to be who I really am anymore because I've spent the larger part of my life adapting to what people expect me to be. Now I'm asking; when did this happen? Am I the only one that feels this way?

As you have a blessed week ahead, think about this; who are you... really?
XO

Tales By moonlight

2011-11-01T22:35:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time;
There lived a lonely girl who had very few friends and even fewer things to do with her life. She always stayed indoors and imagined what it would be like for her to play with those kids at the park. One day, her mother was tired of seeing her little girl so depressed that she decided to take her on an adventure.
Even though she had seen all these places before, it was like a new feeling. As her mum left her to get some groceries, she bumped into this gorgeous boy. When he smiled at her, everything seemed to make sense again. The sun was brighter, the birds sang sweeter and even being outside was not so bad anymore. She had found the love of her life.

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately depending on how you look at it, she did not see him again to tell him how she really felt. It was many years before they saw again and by that time he was no longer the shy pretty boy that jogged down the street. He had become the "jock" of the class; the guy that all the girls wanted to hate. The worst part was, he didn't even recognize her! It broke her heart. She decided to enact her revenge by being mean to him and completely ignoring him. Funny thing about that was, he didn't even notice her to begin with.

In her quest to avoid him at all cost, she ended up smack in the middle of his life. Her mum apparently knew his mum and had her deliver a message to him since she wasn't in town. After conjuring up different ways to avoid the situation, she finally decided to deliver the message and thus began an unbreakable friendship; one that would blossom into one of the greatest love stories ever told.

Or so I would like to think...
***
Disclaimer: This is mainly fiction. The truth is all jumbled up in there somewhere.
I realized a few days ago that I've been in love with the same guy for a very long time. Unfortunately, It hasn't ended the way I wanted it to and surprisingly, I'm okay with that. The only problem is, every other relationship I've had is a waste of time because I constantly compare them to him... It's like they're already jinxed.

Can anyone relate to this?

P.s; I'm sorry for the hiatus; been busy with school. I shall resume shortly.
Thanks for understanding...

You shouldn't judge what you don't know

2011-10-04T14:36:00.000-04:00

Over the years, it's been easy for me as an individual to decipher right from wrong and good from bad. The world has been pretty much white or black for me - up until recently that is.

I'm not going to say what exactly happened that changed my perspective because it's personal and a lot of people that follow this blog actually know me, but I will say this: Don't condemn people or their actions before knowing the entire story!

You can't judge an 18year old girl for wanting to have an abortion when you have no idea of the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy!

You can't say a girl is a slut for losing her virginity before marriage! Would you say the same thing if you found out she had been sexually abused?

You can't say because this guy is overweight, he should go on a permanent diet! What if he's ill? What if there's much more to it than just food?

What is my point?

When life hasn't put you in a certain kind of situation, don't sit across the fence and point fingers at those who are currently going through it. This entire month of September, I've come face to face with a whole bunch of things I swore I'd never do! Even though I didn't do them, I thought about it - seriously.

Yes there is right and wrong, but who gave us the right to say what that is? To me, the world is no longer white and black but different shades of gray...

Just my thoughts
XO

Writers block...

2011-09-22T15:39:00.002-04:00

Calling out my geek/writers squad! I need HELP!

If you've noticed, I haven't really posted any new clip from my work in progress.
It's because I'm stuck!! I have this entire chapter written out and all but it doesn't seem to fit.
I feel like in the process of trying to create a "twist" in the story, I've lost track.

How do I get a fresh perspective? How do I clear my head and continue with what I know is a fantastic story?

I need some help... please.

XO
Confused Pimpette

Grail or Fail:

2011-09-15T05:53:00.000-04:00

... Lace Front Wigs!

See , I have a problem with women using these ugly ass lace fronts! I'd rather you show off your nappy natural hair than look wretched in these wigs. I've been nursing this pet peeve for a while now. It got so bad that I almost stopped this lady I saw on the road to tell her she needed to burn the hair on her head - I was dead serious. I mean, she was dark in complexion, had this bombshell blonde wig on, and proceeded to make cornrows with it!! I'm like COMMON!!

*Deep Breath*

I do understand that black hair is hard to maintain and so people use weaves and wigs. But if you can't afford a proper weave and stylist, why bother? Why not just rock your natural hair and look good with it? I have naturally curly hair so maybe that's why I can't sympathize but there's no reason why anyone should go out looking like this

I don't get what the hair in front is for?? Someone said it's to make it look natural... COUGH!

This doesn't even come close to looking natural

Jesus take the wheel! I hope to God this was a joke!

That celebrities can be in this category shocks me! I mean Lil Kim was once a queen... how did she get to this point? She looks homeless to say the least!

LMAO!

Tyra, I really like you but this is unacceptable - she's a regular culprit!!

Miss Trina, you need a new stylist and that's all I'm saying.

In other words, lace wigs are a big fail for me. I've only seen a hand full of people pull it off well! I wouldn't be caught dead looking like any of these women even if I was being paid; I'd rather stick to weaves and rocking my natural locks thank you very much.

It happens to the best of us...

2011-09-12T14:34:00.000-04:00

"... If I sleep with some one else while you're away would you be hurt? Would that change things between us?"

Someone said this to me a few days ago and I was stunned! - It was like someone had poured a bucket of chilled water on me - for a few reasons actually.

1. I was actually thinking about it!! I should have reacted immediately but not only was I too shocked to speak, I did a double take in my head as well. Did I really expect him to wait for me for four months without seeing anyone else?

2. I didn't realize how much I liked the guy until that point. I had assumed it was a summer fling and I'd just enjoy it while it lasted. What I didn't see coming was the anger that he was even thinking about seeing other people while I went away.

3. I decided to say "no, it would not change things between us". After realizing how much I was actually in love with him, I wasn't ready to let it go even if it meant him sleeping with other people. I tried to justify it by thinking it would just be sex and it wouldn't mean anything.

But it would mean the world to me which ever way I wanted to look at it. It would break my heart if he even as much as kissed another person. Then why was I settling? After talking to my best friend about it, she too was shocked- not at his question but at my response. I remember her saying not to settle for less than I deserve and that what he was offering was definitely not it.

After thinking about it, I knew she was right. I always knew but I guess I needed someone to show me. I told him point blank the next day that if he really loved me like he claimed, he wouldn't be anticipating a hook up with someone else. If he respected me and my feelings, he wouldn't have even asked. And Yes! I'd have a problem if he slept with someone else because I DESERVED much more than that!

Turns out, he asked to know what my feelings towards him and our relationship were exactly seeing that I'd been elusive on giving it a definition ever since.

So ladies what is my point? Please don't even settle for anything that's less than what you deserve. There's nothing worse than going through life, a relationship or any situation feeling mediocre!

Take Charge!

Strength of A woman (4)

2011-09-11T07:12:00.002-04:00

Tammy had known she had to leave the relationship from the day he started hitting her. She had never even suspected he was a monster underneath all that charm – was it even charm or was she just desperate to have someone love her? She wasn’t sure anymore. The beatings had started small; he’d hit her during one of his fits and then break down crying claiming he didn’t mean to do it. She’d accept the apology and gifts and then a few days later, it would happen again.

She endured everything hoping that it was all a reaction to the baby news. It had now become obvious that he did not want the baby and all her hopes to persuade him had been slashed. Instead, he took the anger of his new found responsibility on her body and unborn baby.

The most ridiculous things ticked him off. The most recent one had been her deciding factor. She had finally had the last straw. Because money was tight for them, Tammy picked up a part time Job at Ocean View bar as the bar manager. Even though she had already started showing, the owner being a woman felt sorry for her and offered her the job on the spot. The pay wasn’t great but it was something. He plan was to work at least six hours a day so she could save enough to at least go back to school. It was a start.

That Thursday night had been hectic. There were so many people there that she hadn’t noticed when Dylan walked in with his friends. And of course when she did spot him, it had been heart breaking. He was shamelessly flirting with one of the girls and even gave her his number. In a fit of rage, she had walked up to him without even thinking and demanded an explanation for his crude behavior. She didn’t know she had caused such a big scene but because she had all these feelings bottled up, she had exploded. When she finally calmed down, she knew that was going to be her last day working there.

She had taken her time to get home; praying that by some great twist of fate, Dylan would be leave her alone. Such luck was not for her that eerie night. Dylan had been waiting for her with a baton in his hand. He kicked, screamed, slapped, punched and nearly killed her. It wasn’t until he saw that she was bleeding that he had stopped. At that point, everything had become a vague blurb. She had been rushed to the ER and only regained consciousness three days later.

When she woke, she found the Police asking her to give a description of the man that attacked her in the ally. It took her a microsecond to realize that Dylan had obviously fabricated a story the authorities. She had thought of telling the truth but when he squeezed her hand, the fear that rippled through her body sent a clear warning that lying was her best option – her only option in fact.

She knew she had to hurry if she wanted to leave before Dylan got back. She could not handle any kind of confrontation with Dylan and somehow, he’d manipulate her into staying. She hadn’t finished her thoughts when she heard the door open. He was back which meant her plans had to be postponed. She tried to hide her luggage before he’d realize she was planning to leave.

When he walked into the room, he was smiling – she had not seen that charming smile of his in a long time. Something else caught her eye- he had a bouquet of red and white roses in his hand and was down on one knee. DEAR LORD! What was happening??

***

I hope you are all enjoying this. I'm not sure I like the title so I'm going to put up a poll later of other titles in my head and you guys can help me decide. If you have any ideas, I'd be thrilled.

Getting To Know Me....

2011-09-06T13:55:00.000-04:00

So I just remembered I deleted most of my old post and stuff. Plus I have new followers that don't really know me. I've been thinking of how to solve that without sounding too emotional, personal or serious and what not so I found these random questions I'm going to try to answer. It would be fun if everyone did as well...

FAVORITES:

What was your favorite food when you were a child? - BREAD and maybe Fried plantains.
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod? - Just a dream by Nelly! I loveeee that song!
What is one of your favorite quotes? - "Forgiveness isn't amnesia" #Deep
What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity? - I'm a tv show junkie. I love to take long random walks lol. Boring I know.
What chore do you absolutely hate doing? - Washing dishes! I'd rather mow the damn lawn!
What is your favorite form of exercise?- Kick Boxing!! Been taking lessons
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year? - I like evenings, most chilled time of the day. I love Thursdays, not really sure. July is my best month of the year, yeah cuz it's my month!
What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? - I don't really enjoy traveling because I get motion sickness. I have to take pills before any journey so that sucks!
What is your favorite body part? - My nails for sure!
What sound do you love? - huh?

IF:

If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for? - ooh! I'd do a Michael Jackson tribute party. Everyone would have some sort of afro or he's classic 80's/90's look.
If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint? - Niagara Falls. It was unbelievably beautiful.
If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? - 25. Not too young, not too old.
If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently? - If give more, pray more, and love more.
If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? - My mother. She's a BOSS!
If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be? - Michael Jackson's last concert.
If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? - Sew. I really want to be able to sew stuff. I have no idea why but I think that skill may come in handy soon.
If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? - Writing a great book.
If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? - I'd try to stop the war in Isreal (Middle East) too many people are dying.
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? - Alexandria. Feels Sort of Sophisticated.
If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet? It's a tripple thigh. David Beckham, Michael Jackson or Ronaldinho.
If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? - Buy a Berkin Bag. I'm just being honest sorry! :/
If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be? Jaguar/Smirnoff Ice/Cookie dough.
If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be? - When would the world end?
If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? - Sherlock Holmes!

There are a lot more questions but I'll post those later. I hope everyone has a fantastic week and each day brings you close to your dreams! x

Strength of A woman (3)

2011-09-06T10:01:00.000-04:00

It wasn't like Tammy wasn't on the big side before now but with the pregnancy, it became more pronounced. Dylan constantly picked on her. At first she took it lightly like she did when she was back in high school but she couldn't keep up that charade after a while. At least the mean kids in High School backed out after they had their good laugh some would even try to give her an apologetic look. But Dylan didn't stop. One would think he saw her for the first time and he had fundamental hatred for overweight people.

Crying herself to sleep wasn't that hard for Tammy to do. Coupled with the raging hormones, she was deeply hirting. Dylan had refused to touch her like he used to, he didn't even look at her the same any more. When the insults started raining, he'd buy her nice gifts to apologize but after five months of all that, he stopped caring. He still hadn't gotten a job and her savings were running out.

She couldn't even go back to her parents because being fundamental Christians, fornication let alone pregancy out of wedlock was a taboo. They were the type of people that needed to save face when they went for church meetings. How would they even begin to handle her being pregnant? The only source of income she had left was the money Aunt Edna had left her.

She'd be due soon. The Doctor said three weeks but she felt like she was ready to explode. She really tried hard to hate her baby because after all, it was the source of most of her problems. But she couldn't bring herself to do that. This baby would be her inspiration. Even if Dylan had set out to hurt her in every way possible, he was never going to take away from the love that was growing inside of her. Nothing ever would and that is what kept her going.

As she lay down that night, she kept thinking of names to give the baby, she needed names with powerful meanings, names that would remind her of all that she had been through. Eventually, she decided. If it was a boy, he'd be named Jacob because he was a fighter and if it was a girl, she'd be named Ruth because she never gave up - Just like their mother.

She also decided that she'd fight for her life. She had taken a gap year to study abroad and then she met Dylan. That gap year had turned into three years. As far as her parents knew, she was already in grad school. She began to realize Dylan had not taken away her happiness, but had taken her from every other thing she enjoyed doing that didn't involve him.

She had never really had many friends but Chisa and Cynthia (her child hood friends) had managed to be there for her when she needed them the most. Now she wasn't even sure they knew if she was still alive. She had to get her life back, she had to get back to school, she had to run like hell from Dylan. He didn't love her, he loved that he could control her! With that shocking realization, she began to map out her strategy...

S.O.A.W 2

2011-08-29T02:33:00.000-04:00

That night had been nothing short of magical. He touched her in the right places igniting a flame so strong, she never knew it existed. It was everything she imagined it would feel like. It was as if he was actually listening to her body give instructions and not just in it for his own pleasure.

Night after night, they'd make passionate love, exploring what they both had to offer. Tammy was so sure she'd found the love of her life that three months later when she missed her period, she was elated! She now had something else sealing her future with Dylan. It was the best news in the world!

Unfortunately, Dylan did not express the same enthusiasm.

He wasn't ready for a child he said.

He had other problems to worry about and bringing a child into the world would not be fair.

He had no money nor the capacity to be a father.

Money was not a problem she said.

She still had her trust from Auntie Edna.

She'd be a stay at home mum if he liked- she'd postpone school for him and her baby.

She'd die if he left her now.

He was her world, the reason for her existence she cried.

It meant he had to get a job He said.

He needed to think about this.

And that was where their problems began...

If you have to convince someone to stay in a relationship, more often than not, it would not end well because only one party is invested. It took Tammy years of emotional turmoil, heart break, pain and sickness to finally realize she deserved better- and so did her baby.

****

So here's a continuation of the story.

I had an idea from a blog I admired *Myne Whitman* If anyone is interested in contributing to this story, It'll be great. I already have my version down but It's always good to have people contribute. Even if it's just one other person. I think it would be fun. We can go back and forth and build a fantastic story.

My email is soty_t@yahoo.ca.

I will definitely continue if no one is interested.

The Strength of A woman (1)

2011-08-26T15:30:00.000-04:00

...There was no way on earth she'd let him get away with this again.

She had been through so much because of him that she had thought she had no fight left.

Every time he hit her, she cried, threatened to leave and then he'd come the next day with beautiful peace offerings and she'd accept his apology.

Tammy was a big thick girl. She had been constantly picked on all through middle and high school. Defending herself had gotten old really quick so instead, she withdrew and kept to herself. She barely had any friends and never went out. After a while, her parents stopped beleiving that it was just a funk and she'd get over the phase- it had become part of her.

So when Dylan had said he liked her, she was shocked and happy too. No one had ever called her beautiful or even showed any kind of attraction to her and so, she jumped at the opportunity.

At 21, she had never been on a date or even been kissed. She was yet to experience what it felt like to be loved - to be a woman and Dylan offered her all those things and much more.

When she realized who he truly was, it was almost too late. She had made a vow to be celibate till she got married and that had been easy to keep because she was overweight and never had a boyfriend. But when Dylan came into the picture, she realized that it would definitely be hard. Anytime he smiled at her, she'd get this tingly sensation between her thighs, she'd blush and he'd smile knowingly, like he knew exactly how he made her feel- he probably did.

As their relationship progressed, it was physically hard to keep her hands off him. Sometimes, she'd have this crazy look in her eyes that said she was ready to rip his clothes off but she showed restrain. Eventually, she was ready! She knew she'd never find this opportunity again and she was hoping he'd be the one she'd marry so "God wouldn't be too angry right?"

*********
To be continued next week.
If you want to know how this story ends, please comment below. I'm sorry for the slacking, I've made it my mission to write/blog as much as I can. So expect something every now and then.
LOVE!

Summer '11 so far...

2011-07-25T10:46:00.000-04:00

*Gushes*
I don't want to say I forgot to blog, but that's exactly what happened. With twitter and facebook and this crawling Nigerian internet, blogging seemed like so much stress!

Yes I'm in Nigeria for the summer. Been back since April!! Haven't been back home since 08 and A LOT has changed since then.

Unfortunately, the country hasn't changed for the better. It's actually worse. The traffic is unthinkable, phone networks are useless, electricity is terrible(someone I know get's to have light for only 3 hours a week!!!!!!!!!) How is that even possible after 51 years of independence?? While most countries are taking a step forward, we are leaping backwards!

Then there's this Boko Haram issue! They're the new Muslim group out to terrorize Nigeria. For now, they've succeeded in bombing churches, bombing the police headquarters in Abuja http (Click here for full story) massacring Christians in Maiduguri and according to the news, they are angry because the government isn't taking them seriously so, they're aiming higher!!

However, it hasn't been all bad. I'm enjoying re connecting with my friends and family as I haven't seen them in so long. A few of my cousins are married with kids even and I'm glad to be here!

I hope everyone's summer's been alright; both fun and drama filled?

chat soon...
xx

Relationship Advice 101

2011-04-09T13:51:00.001-04:00

Here's some advice for all the couples out there. To maintain a healthy relationship you have to;

Give your S/O breathing space...
I understand that when you first start a relationship, all you want to do is be around the person 24/7 because he/she is usually the highlight of your day and what not. But it's NOT okay to hover. Once in a while, give your significant other some room to breathe so that y'all don't get sick of each other quickly. More often than not, this is the beginning of the end of your relationship. Because after the first few weeks, all those little idiosyncrasies you have/do that he ignored become more and more obvious and before you know it, he/she cant stand you anymore.

Get a life...
Please get a freaking life outside of your relationship. This happens to a lot of people I know. When they get involved with someone, they abandon all their friends and all the fun things they used to do before. If you see that your partner has no life, please encourage the person to find friends they can hangout with maybe once a week or so. This helps both the individual and the relationship. An added bonus is that in the event of a bad break up, you have other friends you can lean on for moral and emotional support. If you annihilate everyone because you're in a relationship, you'll be alone if or when it ends.

Talk to each other...
I understand that sometimes, it's hard to talk to your partner because you're scared you might hurt or offend them so you go talk to your hommies about the problems you're having in your relationship. The problem is, your friends may not necessarily have the same mind as your partner and instead of making things better, you make them worse. Also, (especially ladies) guys aren't mind readers. (I learned that the hard way). Guys are mainly physical so most of the time, they have no idea that something emotional is bothering you when you don't speak up. And then when you don't speak up, these little things pile up and before you know it, it's a huge deal. Communication is one of the most important tools for a successful relationship.

It's never too early to end it....
Sometimes, people stay in relationships for the wrong reasons. Maybe because you're scared of being alone or you think you need a man/woman to complete you. If he or she is not treating you right, you need to leave even if your partner is loaded or the sex is incredible, you need to go. It is not okay to give out pieces of yourself to a relationship that will ruin you. If you start compromising too early in a relationship, you'll end up hating yourself by the time it's over. If you've been dating a guy for a few weeks and you fight everyday, please get the hell out (Ronnie and Sam - Jersey Shore) That kind of relationship is not healthy and will eat you up from the inside out.

*****

That's all I have for this week, will come up with more soon.
p.s, if there's anything anyone would want me to talk about, let me know.
XO

Luam does Rude Boy by Rihanna/ Ne-yo

2011-03-28T01:01:00.002-04:00

Check these out...

Emmm WOW!
Y'all should definitely check the rest of her videos!! WOW!

For my parents...

2011-03-12T15:35:00.001-05:00

I look into their eyes;
All I see is love, like the deep blue skies
Loving him is not so easy she says
Loving her makes the best of my days

Strife and struggle though they come
Their love always seems to find a way
I think about the rising sun
and wish their love comes my way

In all my days on this plane
Love like this gives me hope
that when my time is come,
their kind of love will help me cope

Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is blind
Love is theirs
And theirs to keep

Always...

I Love you Daddy and Mummy,
Happy Valentines day/ Anniversary!

I wrote this for my parents a while back. This was for their anniversary! :)

Lost in translation!

2011-03-10T12:36:00.002-05:00

I saw this video and thought it was hilarious... Enjoy!!

Why the baby gotta die huh??! smh!
LOL

Going Healthy...

2011-03-04T23:43:00.001-05:00

So, It's been a while I know and I'm sorry but its better late than never right??
Anyway, I've made a pact to try to eat healthier mainly cause I got seriously sick a few months ago and it wasn't a joke. The Doc's were like I'm not supposed to be alive and what not. Thankfully, I'm alive and well. Praise God!

Of course it's gonna take a while for me to completely change all my old bad habits but I'm definitely gonna try starting with deserts and my ever growing sweet tooth. If you know me well, you probably know I love candy, fruits, ice cream and all of that bad stuff. Yeah I know, some fruits can be really bad for you. Like oranges or any tropical/citrus fruit are high in sugar even though it's natural and it can spike your blood glucose leading to high blood pressure or diabetes. (Scary I know)

I needed to find something that could replace this harmful things I take in and then tada... this infomercial comes on- Magic bullet. It's a blender that can make all sorts or healthy beverages that can pass as deserts. Then I found out that I didn't have to avoid all fruits, field berries (strawberry, blueberry etc) are not so high in sugar and are antioxidant so I was good to go.

Bottom line is, I now have a new guilty pleasure, SMOOTHIES!! Yes I said it. I throw in so many random fruits and nuts and the occasional veggies in there and voila! yay for the magic bullet!

Here's the recipe for a recent concussion I made... enjoy

Very Berry Nuts (Smoothie)

Ingredients
1. 1/2 a banana
2. A handful or raspberries
3. A handful of blueberries

4. 2 Handfuls of strawberries
5. Almonds
6. 1/4 cup of juice (optional)
7. 1/2 cup of yogurt (any kind)
8. Ice Cubes

Instructions

Place everything apart from the almonds in the blender and blend for 30 secs.
Add the almonds and blend for 10secs to allow them to a bit chunky.
After that, you're good to go.

P.s, don't use a regular blender to crush the ice. The motor isn't powerful enough and it can damage it.

See you later with more tips and ideas!

Book Club??

2011-01-05T16:03:00.002-05:00

Hey there everyone!!
I hope 2011 is going smoothly for you all. Well, I just had an idea to start an online book club.
A book club is a way we can read a particular book together and talk about the individual responses we got after we're done with the book. For those of you who don't know me that well, I'm a total book junkie. Apart from watching Tv shows and drinking liquids, my other obsession is reading OMG!
Anyway, I just got done reading the seventh book in the house of night series and it kinda hit me that I really don't have any one to talk with about it so, I came to you guys.

Brief Synopsis: The books are about vampires. No, not like the cheesy ass twilight vampires, they live in a world were humans know about their existence... Not all of them like it but an ancient truce allows both races to live in peace. The books, follow the lives of a group of young vampires called fledglings who were marked by the ancient goddess Nyx. But they aren't full vampires yet, that is why they go to the house of night, (the vampire school) to learn how to deal with the changes their bodies are experiencing. If their bodies reject the change, they die permanently. Between dealing with typical teenage drama and learning about their new lives, they also have to fight the forces of evil that threaten to take over the world as they know it and disrupt the perfect balance of good and evil.

I know everyone reads at a different pace so I think I should give you guys a month to catch up on at least five of the books and then we can discuss about them. I can't anticipate the response this will get but I do honestly hope it will be good. I don't know if other bloggers have done this before, but I hope you all will help make this something to look forward to.

You can also suggest books that you want me (us) to read for the following month. Right now though, lets see how this goes.

P.s, I know the books sound like its for only teenagers, but its not and I think you would all enjoy it as I have. I read the first 6 in 3 days... that's how much I loved them. I hope you will too.

xoxo

Happy New Year!!!

2011-01-02T01:02:00.000-05:00

This is just my way of wishing you guys an amazing new year ahead.

For some of us, 2010 was not as good as expected. While for others, it was great.

I'm not even gonna bother with any resolutions because I know I'm gonna break them after a few days

So, all I'm going to say is that may God allow this year to bring us joy, peace, good fortune and amazing grace. And May He let all our dreams come true. Amen

Much Love
xoxo

Keri Hilson... WTF???

2010-12-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

Honestly, I have no comment!
What the hell was she thinking doing this song? Just roughly 2 weeks ago she was singing "pretty girl rock" defending female empowerment and now she's doing this??

Forget the lyrics, the video doesn't even make sense. And the cast?? really?? Jojo and Faith Evans?? Columbus Short? Lloyd? Polow Da Don?? Really?? smh

What the damn hell??

I liked the Keri from Energy...

If any one can break this down for me, I'd appreciate

M.I.M.S

2010-11-23T11:24:00.000-05:00

I wake up on the wrong side of bed

My day goes from okay to terrible within a second

Some random driver decides to drive past a puddle and I get soaked

Its so cold, I have to go home

Get to the bus stop and realize "Snap! I Left my school I.D at home"

I decide to walk home

I pull out my ipod and suddenly, I feel better

It's like music helps me through.

When I listen to Bon Jovi, Eminem, Pink, Nicki, Kanye or Marianas Trench, I feel like its me and them against the world.

For the 4, 5 or occasional 6 minutes a song runs for, every problem seems to fade away.

Music is like healing waters to my soul.

What makes you feel better after a bad day?

*M.I.M.S = Music is my Saviour

Favorite Tv Shows

2010-09-26T23:52:00.002-04:00

Supernatural
The vampire diaries
Hell Cats
Rookie Blue
Haven
Hawaii five-0
Entourage
Jersey Shore
Gossip Girl
Criminal Minds
Cougar Town
Glee
Greek
90210
Melrose place
America's Nest top Model
Raising the Bar
Royal Pains
Gilmore girls
The O.C
Keeping up with the Kardashians
Kourtney and Khloe take Miami
Dancing with the stars
America's Best Dance Crew
Accidentally On purpose
Heroes
Carlifornication
Hell's Kitchen
Drop Dead Diva
Grey's Anatomy
House
Pretty Little Liars
Undercovers
Project Runway
True Blood
Desperate House Wives
Make it or break it

These are a few of my favorite Tv shows.... yes I LOVE T.V.
I'll keep updating them as they come to mind. Right now, these are all I can think of.
Enjoy!
xx

Fate??

2010-09-26T23:39:00.000-04:00

I was watching criminal minds the other day and I just knew I had to blog about it. this 15yr old boy had been having psychopathic thoughts about prostitutes. Regular teenage boys get excited when they see a woman in a short dress and heels but this boy was different. his excitement was at the thought of killing them and ripping their body into pieces.

He knew these thoughts weren't right so he went to the FBI profilers for help on how to solve his problem. After a full psych exams, they confirmed that it wasn't a question of if he was going to kill anyone but when. The poor boy had to be locked up in a psych ward for the rest of his life but not before he tried to kill himself. He wanted to end his life so he could save many more lives later on.

The thing that scared me about this was that this boy had no control over his thoughts or excitements or whatever you want to call it. If he hadn't been locked up, he would have killed someone eventually. My question is, how does this kind of thing happen? How can an innocent little boy develop such strong lethal feelings? I don't know how to explain it but I felt really bad for the boy. I know its a Tv show and all but I'm sure real life serial killers start out that way.

Anyway, I hope everyone has been good. I haven't done any post because I've been super busy. I'm taking 5 courses this term and they are all reading courses. I've had no room to breather! But I'll try to keep up.

Stop and smell the roses....

2010-08-01T02:16:00.001-04:00

Often times, we are too busy with the supposedly more important things in life

that we lose sight of whats right in front of us.

Half the time we set our goals so high that we forget the little things we have.

We wish for so much and forget that what we have at that moment may be exactly what we need

We're so set on these goals that we miss out on the truly important things in life.

Once in a while, its okay to stop, look around you, breathe in and smell the roses!

Happy Birthday To Me....

2010-07-12T18:05:00.000-04:00

Yay!!

I'm a year older and so thankful for how far I've come...

Thankful that I was able to see this day by God's special grace

Thankful for all the calls, messages and texts...

I'm a glad!!

For me, this is my new year and I hope to soar from here onwards!

There's no turning back now... :)

Special Shout out to all June/July babies...

We're so darn awesome!!

Should I be worried??

2010-07-08T14:07:00.000-04:00

So I have this friend I met in my french class a couple of months ago ... she's really nice and helpful but sometimes it gets so uncomfortable!

She gets me booster juice every thursday (its like $7 and we've been in skl for 2 months now) and offers me stuff all the time. When I don't accept, she gives me this sad face and I'll be just take what ever to make her feel good.

I kinda got the vibe that she's one of those people who get high off giving!

Well I've been feeling off about the whole thing, I just feel like she's spending too much on me and one day she'll ask this huge ass favor I may not be able to grant.

So today I saw that the Lady Gaga tickets for the show on my bday cost $190 and I was like wtf?? that's expensive.

She was like oh it doesn't really matter as long as you have fun... well the seats were like directly in front of the stage so it would have been totally awesome but one problem : It was on a monday and most people were bin school/work! *Insert sad face*

*drum roll*

she offered to get them for me as a bday gift.

I was stunned!!

When I told my brother about the tickets he said "GADDEM!" then signed out (lmao! mumu boy!! I'm sure he'll tell me later that the connection was bad! ) and then a semi- stranger offers to buy 'em for me?? someone that I even forgot that her bday was today?!

Should I be scared?

Imperfection

2010-07-03T16:25:00.000-04:00

You go to a grocery store to get eggs
You make sure there aren't any cracks and if there are, you find a new crate.
When you get home, you inspect them to see if any cracked on your way back.
You place them properly in your fridge to prevent any future cracks.
However, what you don't know is that no matter how fine an egg appears to be, there is always a crack no matter how little it is.
Eventually, you end up cracking it to make a meal
or you forget it in the fridge and it gets rotten.

You buy a new top from the mall and its really pretty.
you come back home and place it nicely in your closet.
After wearing it for a few weeks, maybe months, you see a little hole.
That little whole increases everytime you bring it out of the washer.
Eventually, you dispose of it or if your like me, recycle.
You use the hole to create a new style- a distressed shirt maybe
or you use it as a floor cloth.

Fact is, we are all imperfect and it is only a matter of time before it is unmasked.
His imperfection may be that he is addicted to winning and will do anything to get there.
Her's may be that she loves spin stories to her favor.
While theirs may be that they like to manipulate people into getting what they want.
Either way, we are all imperfect and it is what makes us who we are.
The earlier you admit it, the better.

"You cannot claim to be perfect but you can strive for perfection with an imperfect heart" - Me

New month, new Hotties

2010-07-03T15:00:00.000-04:00

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki my favorite brothers from the Hit Tv show, Super Natural. You should totally check it out if you haven't already!

Anyway, here's to wishing everyone a blessed month, with all you hopes and dreams coming true. This is a special month cuz I turn a year older on the 12th... Yiiippeeeee!!!

I have a couple of goals/missions I want to achieve this month and I know I can if only I'm determined...

1. Ace my Business Recommedation report
2. Boost my french grades
3. Apply for my LSAT (Law school admission test) and start preparing 4 it cuz its in october nd im terrified.
4. Try to sleep at 12am latest so I can wake early. My sleep cycle is ridiculously messed up and I need to change that.
5. Call all my family members...yes i mean all of the extended peeps.... I haven't heard from most of them since I left Nigeria and that was 3yrs ago, I feel like I should at least call so they know I did my part. What do you think?

What are your goals for this month if any?

Much love,
moi..
xx

Her Secret

2010-06-15T19:47:00.000-04:00

Luke was a happy man, he had the woman of his dreams, a good job, a lovely home, and that was enough for him. He could not have had it any other way.

He looked at her with the kind of joy a mother has for her new born child . He couldn't think of how he got so lucky... how did he manage to score such a prize. Watching her sleep seemed to be his favorite pass time especially since she kept saying his name in her sleep.

He sat there playing with her hair thinking about all they've been through...

"Spencer..."

Luke turned so sharply like a bolt of lightening had struck his balls...

"Since when did his name become Spencer? or was he hallucinating?"

"Oh Spencer..." she said as she rolled over and hugged her pillow ever so tightly.

"Who the hell is Spencer?" Luke thought

"And why was Dianne calling his name?"

"she had never said anyone's name apart from his in her sleep before, so why now?"

In order not to over-react, he started cleaning- another strange habit of his- their room..

"Maybe this will help keep my mind off the what just happened..." He said out loud.

He picked the room like something wild was chasing him and prayed that daylight could come to save him from this misery. But it seemed the prayers were hitting the ceiling as his thoughts refused to remain repressed.

"You knew Luke!! , don't even act like you had no idea! Ever since she came back home singing 3 weeks ago, you knew something wasn't right" He said to himself...

The last time he heard Dianne sing was the week before her miscarriage. Singing was her first love, her life, her existence! But when she had lost their baby, it had been like her life had come crashing down. She suddenly stopped taking guitar lessons and had not so much as hummed a tune in years...

But she was singing that night when she came back from work and instead of being happy, he was scared, more like terrified...

"Luke, why are you cleaning at 2am?? I know you're a neat freak and all, but can't you do all that in the morning" Dianne said.

"Who is Spencer?" Luke asked without giving it much thought

"What? who?"

"You heard me Dee, who the hell is Spencer?"

"How... how did you find out??"

Now it was time for Luke's life to come down crashing in sharp little pieces!

*******

My question:
1. What would you consider as cheating?? Mere flirting? a Kiss or the main deal??
2. Is cheating Worth it? Is it worth all the emotional ~~bullshit~~ stress that comes with it?
3. Is cheating a deal breaker for your relationship?

p.s as you can probably tell, I get bored easily hence the constant change of templates...

Pps, her secret may not be that she was cheating... ;)

On your marks, Get set, GO!

2010-06-09T00:47:00.000-04:00

So guys... I've sorta recovered from the last post lol.... a friend of mine believes so much in me that he always says "sotee, you'll always make it out alive" and I don't plan on letting him down or anyone else for that matter.... especially me.

so I have a p.... I don't think I like the direction of this blog anymore.... is it possible for me to delete all my previous posts and start again?? cuz I'm in love with my url and I don't want to change it.... that leads me to another thing, If I happen to delete this blog, can I get my url back? The only things holding me back are my url nd followers so plz if u have any solution, holla back.

Like I said before, life is all about progression... so I plan on moving forward and leaving old things behind. Like some one I know always says, "whats the point of burying a hatchet when you place a sign post there" You get the point??

P.s; I honestly don't know the point of that title but It kinda sums up this post I guess lol!
Love u guys...